A question had appeared in a student's medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question:
1. No need to bottle it.
2. Cats can't steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.

But the fourth point eluded him.

When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed before his mind. So he completed the answer by writing:

4. Available in attractive containers.

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"

An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."

The more we study, the more we know
The more we know, the more we forget
The more we forget, the less we know
the less we know, the less we forget
The less we forget, the more we know
Why study? :)

One day a student asked the teacher-polyglot:
“What do you think: are there intelligent creatures in the universe or not?”
“I think they are.”
“Why haven’t they connected with us?” the student went on asking.
“That is because they are intelligent creatures.”

Should you have any questions during the exam, just raise your hand. This should cause enough blood to flow to your brain to answer it yourself.

• Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
• Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
• Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
• Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.
• Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
• Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
• Good girls say, ''Don't... Stop...'' Bad girls say, ''Don't Stop...''

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.

Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"

Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."

Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"

Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."

Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"

Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."