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A Good Joke is A Thing of Beauty / LifeUP
First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that’s vanity?
Second girl: No, it’s imagination.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine can I use?
Trainer replies: Use the ATM outside!
Sign on a famous beauty parlor window:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother’s ear. “Johnny, how many times have I told you,” said his mother, “it’s rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.” “OK,” said Johnny, “why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch?”
- I don’t think these photographs you’ve taken do me justice.
- You don’t want justice – you want mercy!
- You’re ugly.
- And you’re drunk.
- Yes, but in the morning I’ll be sober!
Little Billy on Grammar
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly...
Продолжение читайте в журнале English4U №11 (ноябрь 2011) на который можно подписаться или купить здесь.