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Top 10: 2009 Dating Resolutions / For men
Now another calendar year has come and gone and you are still alone. The past year has seen, by far, some bad dating experiences, and it seems tempting to pack it in for the priesthood or to never ask out a woman again. With the new year arrived, it’s time to resolve to make this your best dating period ever. Here are our top 10 2009 dating resolutions, guaranteed to have you happier than Baby New Year* (just with a little more clothing).
No.10 - Forget the past
Millions of people have been cheated on, dumped or even left at the altar. While it is important to learn from your dating history (who knew dating a cousin would end that way?), don’t let past experiences have an influence on your future dating life. On the flipside, don’t let your positive dating experiences be a benchmark on which to compare future partners. Sure, the ex was great at cooking, but don’t shun a potential mate because she can’t make pizza rolls. Every new relationship starts with a blank slate.
No.9 - Meet more people
The same places, faces and experiences do nothing to help you meet not just potential partners but new friends. Sure, meeting new women is best, but don’t forget about making friends with guys who can expose you to a whole new network of women. First, break out of your comfort zone. If you always go to the gym after work, wake up early and join the morning crowd. Instead of hitting the same deli, try a new spot for lunch. Take an art class, join a book club, stalk a different ladies bathroom, or do anything else you can think of to expand your social network.
No.8 - Develop a new dating tool
Sure, you’re an interesting guy, but even the most fascinating people need to learn new things. Take the time to expand your mind and learn new tricks that will impress a date. Instead of staring at the wine list and choosing the next-to-cheapest bottle, pick up some books on wine or take a tour of a vineyard to learn the actual process of winemaking. If you have an area of expertise (like dancing), don’t be afraid to show it off on a first date. Give a woman countless reasons to find you fascinating.
No.7 - Try online dating
Online dating doesn’t carry the same stigma it once had (read: the only chance at love for the hopeless, homely and socially inept). In fact, some might argue that more people are meeting online than in social situations – imagine hitting a bar on a crowded weekend and every woman in the joint is carrying a “dating resume.” Online, you can browse a potential date’s interests, goals, hobbies, and favorite cookie before you even waste a dime trying to get their attention in a packed house. This is the beauty of online dating – all the work is done for you. It’s even easier now with specific dating websites based on religion, nationality and geography. Set up an honest profile and watch potential women fill up your inbox more frequently than the Nigerian lottery commission.
No.6 - Get a new look
This resolution doesn’t mean adopting new versions of your same old style. Spend more than your normal $11 at the Haircut Shack and visit a professional stylist. Grab some men’s magazines and rip out hairstyles you like as an example, or ask the stylist what will look the best on you. Hit a high-end department store and ask for some assistance from the sales staff. Here is a hint on how to pick the right person: if he or she is dressed well, you are in good hands. Another tip is to just rip-off what the mannequins are wearing. Mannequins are usually sporting outfits laid out by people who get paid loads of money to make decisions on clothing. Nothing builds confidence like new duds and a fresh hair cut (people will notice, especially the opposite sex).
No.5 - Slow down
The first date was a blast, but you can’t figure out why the woman bailed after Sunday dinner with the family? Well, her disappearance had nothing to do with your dad’s embarrassing ear hair – you are moving too fast. Everyone seems perfect the first few dates, but take your time and stop rushing the relationship. Don’t mention anything about the future. Don’t make set plans for a “next time” until the first time is over. Don’t suggest she spend the night or leave stuff at your house. Don’t call on the phone and say “it’s me.” Think about the situation and how you would feel if a female started smothering you after a few days of dating. Treat the first few dates just like a first date and move slowly.
No.4 - Stop being
We all have flaws, so if you are finding superficial excuses to not like a woman, then you probably aren’t interested. Sometimes people don’t click romantically, so you don’t need to tear the woman apart just to make yourself feel better for not being interested. If you are too busy concentrating on the negative, you could be missing a ton of their positives. For example, she may not have toes, but that means no long visits to the shoe store are on the horizon.
No.3 - Plan dates at original
It doesn’t matter how many Sizzler coupons you get in the mail -- fast-food dinners and mini-golf outings are best left to teenagers. Do some online research and find the hottest restaurants and trendiest lounges in your area (in your price range). Ask friends in solid relationships where they went on their first dates. Search the community calendar section of the newspaper for local shows, art exhibits, outdoor movie nights, undiscovered bands, or anything different from the typical dinner and a movie. Be creative and plan according to her interests. You can go flea market shopping for Hot Wheels on a later date when you know she‘ll stick around.
No.2 - Don't stick around if a relationship is a dud
Men are just as guilty of this as women -- sticking around for much too long because at the moment you have no other dating options. Why waste her time, your time and especially your money on a relationship that isn’t worth taking to the next level? If the relationship is going downhill faster than Rosie O’Donnell on rollerblades, just politely end it with a warm handshake, a gracious “good luck” and delete her number from your phone. Don’t ever stick around because things might get better or because she might be decent in bed. If you think her three-hour explanation on the wonderful world of cat-sweater-making was brain-numbing, imagine her idea of foreplay.
No.1 - Make the first move
There is no word or phrase in the English language that strikes more fear in the hearts of even the most courageous man than “no” (“erectile dysfunction” follows a close second). If you ask out a beautiful woman, and the worst she can say is no, is that really so bad? Isn’t it better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all? Make a move. Be daring. Women love a man with confidence. Strike up a conversation with the gorgeous girl buying your favorite breakfast cereal at the supermarket. Ask the new girl at work to lunch the next time you bump into her at the copier. If you are at a bar for the big game and there is an incredible fox cheering for your team, go up and ask her if she would like to “sack you.” Just make certain that tree-trunk of a guy sitting next to her isn’t her husband. In those instances, your first move will be out the door in a dead sprint for your car.
* The Baby New Year is an American personification of the start of a new year. The stereotypical representation of Baby New Year is as a white male baby wearing nothing more than a diaper, a top hat and a sash across his torso that shows the year he is representing.